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Répondez s'il vous plait?

I RSVP'd to a baby shower today.

:: waits for applause::

Yes, yes, thank you for the applause. No really, please I don't deserve that much accolade, but thank you. Thank you, thank you. Please, please be seated. Thank you, thank you.

Okay, so maybe not that big of a deal, but it was a step for me. A step to get over myself and attend an event for someone who totally deserves to be showered with presents and affection. So I'll make my adorable hand made flannel burp rags and go buy an almost equally adorable (hard to compete with my handiwork) outfit to go with it. I feel like a complete shit for missing the other baby showers I've been invited to so I'm making an effort to do the right thing from here on out.

I suspect it will give me lots of opportunity to try out some new totally inappropriate answers to equally inappropriate questions. Conversations will go like this:

Nosey Mc Snooperson: So you guys have been married almost nine years now right? When are you going to start popping them out?

Me: Funny you should ask. I was thinking about getting one from the black market. Did you know they still do that? Yeah, you can give someone like $200 dollars and voila you get a baby! It's like one of those prize bags at the Dollar store. You don't know what color, shape or size but you know it's gonna be awesome! Of course you have to keep that on the down low, there are always spies sniffing around about black market babies.

OR

Snoopy Snoopinpants: Are you and Scott going to have kids?

Me: Nope. We decided that with our genetic makeup a kid would be doomed the first day out on the playground so why bother? I mean why send some poor little thing who can't see, has bad teeth and sneezes so easily they should really live in a bubble out into the cruel, cruel world of recess? Instead we're going to try our hand at rabbit breeding. I hear it's very easy to get them to reproduce and then you get all these adorable little fuzz balls to play with.

Man, it would be so fantabulous to answer someone like that... Dreams and wishes my friends, dreams and wishes!

2 comments:

Ashleigh said...

This made me laugh, but then I felt bad for laughing. I admire you and your sense of humor, being able to laugh at the sensitive subjects in your life. You're the best.

Erin said...

Don't feel bad for laughing, it really is meant to be funny. And you're the best too!