Just call me Donna Reed

I am planning a Mini Martha weekend for myself. I know a few of you will think I'm nuts for wanting to spend a weekend crafting/baking/sewing but it sounds like heaven to me so I'm doing it.

My first project will be this SUPER DUPER AWESOME apron!

Just take a moment and bask in it's awesomeness. I've got adorable fabric that pretty much matches my blog layout right now and it's going to look oh so precious hanging on a little hook in my kitchen, when it's not on me of course and then it will be even more adorable! If you need to make yourself one you can get the pattern HERE and her blog also has some great tips on sewing and other projects.

I'm also making mini pies. Yep teeny, tiny, itsy bitsy pies in wide mouth mason jars. They will be so cute you won't be able to stand it. I'll take pictures to prove it. I owe some sweets to a friend. For Christmas I gave him Six Months of Sweets and we're onto month three now. Apple pie it is! These are great little pies because you can freeze them and bake them when you suddenly get the urge to stuff your pie hole, and they are single serving sized so you're not tempted to stuff an ENTIRE pie into said pie hole. I think I might try some pear pie too. My Scott loves pears and I think the firmness of a pear will probably hold up well to being frozen and reheated.

It seems that all this gym time has given me oodles and oodles of extra energy and that translates into wanting to bake which is pretty much not a good idea for the hips and arse. So I need to make things I don't like so much. Anyone like lemon bars? Rhubarb? I want to bake, I don't want to eat!

I think I'll also set aside some time to organize my recipes. I pull all sorts of things out our magazines and stuff them in folders or drawers and then I forget about them. It's sad, I have this special little binder for just such recipes and I always forget about it so this weekend I will fill it up and make my own little cook book of sorts.

I really, really wish it wasn't only Wednesday!!

What not to wear to dinner...

First, lets talk about this:

This lovely outfit was on display for anyone lucky enough to be dining at Le Bistro Montage (affectionately known as Montage, or that place under the Morrison Bridge, or that place they wrap your left overs up like strange foil animals and plants) on Saturday night. I was one of the luckies who got to view it multiple times as it walked past me with six foot legs with six inch heels. It appears from the photo there is actually a head attached to the outfit but I didn't really notice that when it was within spotting distance. It could be that I was more than a foot shorter than it. It's owner very much enjoyed sashaying around the restaurant and also having make out sessions with her equally as tall, European, blue eyed mate. I only noticed he had a head because he was facing me as he sat down.

What the picture really can't convey is the quality craftmanship of those hot pants. You see, they are leather, and sequins. Yes both. I suspect they were meant to look a little something like the picture below, but got a little trashy in the American translation? It's perfectly fine for a model to strut down the CHANEL runway dressed like this. It is not what I would consider a going out at SIX PM outfit. In fact it's really more of a 82nd and Burnside outfit. Either way it was a sight for sore eyes. Not your typical Portland or Montage ensemble. It was the talk of the night.

Now let's talk about how AWESOME my birthday was!

Birthday cake. Mom's home cooking. Jambalaya. White wine. Pedicure. Bowling. Presents. Waffle Window. IKEA. Pra Ram Chicken. Friends. More friends. Even more friends!

Yep, pretty much the best weekend ever! I wish birthday's happened more than once a year. I am truly blessed to have so many fun loving people love me. I wish we'd taken some pictures but we were too busy having fun to even think about it. The bowling alley even let me keep a pin that everyone signed, some a few times, some in handwriting I can't quite read...maybe we spent a little time in the lounge.

It was the bestest. I can't wait for next year!

I did actually make it to the gym on Saturday before all the birthday mayhem started and yesterday we took a walk to Hawthorne so I did get my exercise in despite the not so great eating. Back to the gym tonight and I'm on track for a super healthy menu this week. As the sisters LeeAnn and Tina would say "I'm shucking this oyster!". So we're back on track to lose 8 more pounds. 6 to win the bet, 2 just for good measure.

I don't have a title for today...

First, thank you to my little cheerleaders! Tamara, Mary and Andy, I really appreciate the feedback and support. Last week when I hit my gym low you made me bounce right back up and hop on the elliptical machines again. Mucho, mucho thank you! Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually reads my words and hearing from you guys totally made my week!

Gym update: I'm still going 5-6 times a week. I finally lost a pound. It's only one, but it also means I'm only .5 pounds away from not being considered over weight on the BMI scale so I've got that to keep me pushing. I've actually been working extra hard lately. Having conversations with myself. In my head. Not out loud. That might have people looking at me like I was crazy. Of course that might mean they would pick a machine a little further from me which would be a-okey dokey by me! Something to ponder... Back to these conversations, I basically pep talk myself and convince myself that if I slack off, the only person being cheated in ME. Or I talk to myself about having fab (not flab) thighs for the beach in MEXICO. Last night when I got home from the gym I practiced my Biggest Loser Photo Op photo. You know where you pose like the finalist before the big reveal. Yeah, I made my arms look all buff and fun. Yes I am crazy. Yes I am willing to do what ever it takes to meet the goal at this point. I even did leg lifts while I cooked dinner last night. Got to get the extra burn in.

Life update: Things have been pretty darn good, I feel like all the gym time has given me better happy vibes and even more energy. So my house is clean, I feel like cooking and baking and crafting. I feel like doing. Doing anything and that makes the days that much better. I am starting to see that I might have been in some really bad (if not scary) funk after I broke my ankle. Things just feel SO much better. Scott is still working really long hours but he did have two days off this weekend so we got to spend some time together and that was really nice. Despite all this goodness I've still been feeling a little insecure over stupid stuff. I just need to "get over it" I suppose, but hormones and crap like that have a way of making you nutso. I'm bordering on a little paranoid nutso right now. I won't bore you with details. But dammit I hate feeling insecure. It's icky.

This weekend I'll celebrate my birthday with friends and family and I'm really, really looking forward to it. I'm in such a better place than I was last year. The only thing missing will be Stephanie. I was booked to go see her on Saturday and I won't. I thought maybe I'd take some flowers to her grave but then thought better of it. I will wait until her birthday week after next, so it's about her and I can avoid extra tears for my birthday.

Baby update : Zip, zero, zilch. No movement. But right now I'm okay with that. Tomorrow that might change :) Tomorrow I'm going to be older. ACK!

L.ance A.rmstrong Sabotaged me!

It's true. That super athlete. That primo cyclist. That human anomaly sabotaged me! I have been using his Livestrong website to track my food and exercise. It's this super awesome handy tool and it makes keeping a food journal really easy. The problem? He thinks my body is some super calorie burning machine extroadinare. His calcualtions have me burning about 2-3 calories more a minute than I actually am. I was relying on him to tell me how it was working. Unfortunatley that old addage, you can only count on yourself, is true in this case. He also thinks that I burn more calories in a sedentry state than I do. 200 more a day actually. Well about that. I can't be sure as I don't have one of those handy dandy body buggs like The Biggest Loser people do. Luckies. So maybe this is why I'm not losing weight? Perhaps. Or maybe my body just hates me. Or maybe Lance hates me.

The good news is I've still been tracking my calories so I know what I'm taking in. Now I'll just have to really readjust my gym time and work harder at keeping the food intake down a little too. Dammit.

I really thought I'd been working hard. I guess one hour at the gym five to six times a week isn't enough.

I got on the scale tonight and I'm back up two pounds. I don't even know how it's possible. I know I've had a large calorie deficit every day except one, and that one day wasn't so bad. So yeah the answer is my body hates me.

I'm giving this gym/diet like a maniac thing one more solid week. If results do not improve I'll go back to my gym two or three times a week and kinda watching what I eat. I'm not going to try so hard for no reason.

Erin has lost motivation, it's official.

PS. The only person to notice my body changing is Scott, and I half believe that he just says nice things so he can get me in bed. If no one but my husband is noticing, than there probably isn't much change going on. Insert sad face. I call uncle! So much for being skinny for my birthday...

I is stuck

Stuck. In lots oh ways. Today I am stuck on the scale.

I have really, really, really, really (no really!) been working my ass off these last few weeks. And yet, my ass is still here. I do not understand. Jillian (from The Biggest Loser) says it's a science, math really. Calories in, calories burned. So either my math is whack or my body hates me. Could be both.

Regardless. I'm stuck and I don't like it. Makes it difficult to keep going. The only thing that keeps me moving at this point is Scott's recognition that I look good. So I must be doing something right.

Stupid fat cells.

In other news, Scott is working an insane amount of hours and it's only March! I am already worried he's burned out and Spring hasn't even hit, let alone Summer. I hope they hire him a helper. He looks so tired when he gets home. Hopefully he'll have this coming Monday off and have an extra day to recuperate.

This weekend I'll be sewing. Curtains for a friend. Hopefully cutting out a pattern for myself. It's been a very long time since I last cut a pattern so I'm a bit nervous, but what's the worst that could happen right? Right.

Okay, that's it, sorry there is nothing exciting to report.

Ms. Manners would say no...

but I'm wondering if it's at all acceptable to tell people who smell like ashtrays at the gym to go find a smokers section?

Today I had to cut my elliptical time short because dude next to me was sweating out all his toxic cigarette ick. Yes my dear smoker friends, we can smell it even if you've washed your hands and brushed your teeth. You see, you INHALE it, so it gets into your system. Then when you come to the gym and breath heavy and sweat, all of us have to smell you. As if gyms don't have enough bad smells. Uuggg.

Listen, I get that it's their right to smoke if they want, but why do I have to smell it? That stale cigarette smell actually makes me ill. I'm not being over dramatic here, it makes my stomach turn. I'd rather smell fresh off the puff smoke than that sickly, ashy smell that comes later. I'm nauseous just thinking about it.

So I burned fewer calories tonight dammit. Guess I'll eat less... This battle of the bulge is starting to ware on me.

Battle of the Bulge - but not that WWII one....

I fit into my sparkly butt jeans this morning. It's been well over two years. This calls for a celebration. I think I'll go to the gym and have a party with the elliptical machine!

Erin 1 - Fat Ass - 0