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The good, the bad, the ugly and treadmills

The Good - Christmas is just around the corner! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this time of year. I get to decorate things, buy sparkly things, and wrap the prettiest presents in the world. I get to pick out gifts that are just perfect for people and fight my urge to give them away early. I get to sing songs and watch silly movies. Ideally in my world Christmas would happen every three months. Right this very moment I am sitting on my couch with my dog, gazing at my beautiful, lit up tree. There are even a few presents under it. It makes me smile just to look at it! I'm even gonna take a picture of it to share with you! The only thing that could make this evening better is my very own bag of Cadburry Mini Eggs!


My pretty little tree glowing in the corner.

Scott and me in our awesome Christmas sweaters. I know you're jealous right?

I think the fur collar really makes mine.

The Bad - I haven't been able to move forward with the OHSU Fertility Clinic because my stupid body refuses to cooperate. I will have to call them this week and ask them how we should proceed seeing as I can't take a day three blood test if day three never comes. Seriously, this always happens. Anytime we decide to think about taking actual, real steps towards treatments my system shuts down completely. I'm going to blame it on stress this time. I'm not really that stressed (unless you ask me about the economy and Scott getting work) but I don't have any other excuse and right now I need a scape goat. It's way easier to blame the issues on something that could potentially change. And yes, in case you were wondering I do see the world though rose colored glasses...today. Tomorrow is any one's guess. Regardless we are at a standstill until I make a phone call. I just need to do it. I don't understand my own hesitation. It's times like this I have to remind myself that if something is going to happen I have to make it happen. Just push though the nervousness, prepare for disappointment or change and get it over with.

In the last few weeks we've found out about four other couples who are now soon to be parents. I'm trying really hard to keep my emotions in check. I know it's not their fault I'm not in the same place they are, and I am genuinely happy for them. I know they will all make wonderful parents, I just wish I could take the journey with them. I've promised myself I won't be an emotional wreck in their presence. They deserve excited people around them, they deserve well wishes and congratulations and I hope someday they'll get to return the excitement for me. But god if it isn't hard to keep that smiling face going. And that's where the ugly comes in to play. I think it's ugly that I'm such a bitch when I first hear about people who are expecting. Something I hate about myself. Something I don't know that will ever change. I hate being ugly and yet I can't help it, or I should say that I haven't made any attempt to help it. Yikes, writing that out makes me feel icky. That should be reason enough to change the way I react...something to think about.

Treadmills - I need to get my ass on one. That's all really. I don't hate them, in fact I rather like them. But I haven't been on one in far too long. Next Monday I will make my way to one and I will walk on it for a while. I say Monday because I want this one last week of food debauchery before I head off into Healthy Land. Debauchery includes peanut sauce, oreo cookies, and hot cocoa. Not all together mind you.

Okay, off to snuggle with Olivia who is snoring worse than a drunk old man with a deviated septum!

4 comments:

tina said...

i think the little furry snow ball zipper pull is what makes that sweater. i will have to post a picture of sister and i wearing our festive frocks unearthed from grandmas closet a few weeks ago. there might be shoulder pads involved.

i have this angry tiki god cup full of change that i usually give to the bell ringers this time of year. i really do want to donate it to baby fund. what if you only ate round foods to encourage your own roundness. maybe oranges and babybel cheese would will the baby into existence.

whenever i am really mad i just think of someone falling off a tread mill. the image is priceless. be careful and come walk the nike path with us. it's a circle!

mills said...

The most primary reasons that the Treadmills is one of the most important pieces of health fitness equipment are because it is so convenient. A treadmill allows you to run even when the weather is bad or when the gym is closed, and you can also exercise whenever you want, during whatever time is most efficient for you.

http://www.yorkfitness.com/Treadmills-cat-501/Index.html

Nadine said...

Well, I'm also planning to buy a new treadmill on Christmas from Smooth Fitness, it will be a worthy decision for the fitness of my family.

Erin said...

Okay, enough with the treadmill comments. I get that you people are trying to sell me things. Do you really think this is the way to do it?

I love comments on my blog. I do not like veiled attempts to make me purchase something. Back off crazy treadmill seller people!