Unstable

Things are unstable. It makes me nervous. I think about "things" way too much these days. I hate it. Just a few months ago I was thinking that I was doing pretty good. That I'd gotten myself into a pretty good place, a little savings, some good interest rates on my credit cards, a new car that I could afford...now I think, I need a bigger savings account and I need to clean off those credit cards just in case!

I know I'm not in a position to change the way our economy is functioning and that too makes me nervous. I have no control over what will happen.

I'm a control freak. I don't like it when I can't change the outcome.

The yo-yo stock market baffles me. One day we're up, the next we're down. Admittedly I am not a Wall Street expert, but the whole thing is so messy and discombobulated that it makes me shiver to think about it. The trading incites panic and a panicky public is scary.

Part of me wants to start hiding money under my mattress. Maybe I should stock my pantry? Of course I realize that I panic easily and that I must try to stay rational as I watch the US dollar tank. I know my bank, which was just bought out by a larger bank, is insured by the FDIC. That's great, except the FDIC was created to secure a few banks with short terms loans. Right now they are being pushed to near capacity and the loans are going to be longer term. Freaks me out a bit.

I was in Mexico last week. Lowest exchange rate I've ever witnessed there. I've been four times, in for different years. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't what I remember.

I'm going to mind my p's and q's and try not to think about what could happen. I have a crazy imagination that borders on unhealthy when I worry.

I will have to find other things for my brain to focus on. Maybe I'll write that book I've always wanted to...