Dear 2009,
I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Literally. Let's start over okay? I could really use a few good months in a row to restore the faith in you that I had when you began. Remember that other letter I wrote you? Here's a link just in case. If you can't get your act together I'm going back to being an even numbered year believer. I'm sorry to give you an ultimatum but I can't take any more of this. Get it together 2009! I mean it!
Signed,
2009 Bad Luck Recipient
Dear Ankle,
Ankle, I don't really know how to say this. I can't threaten to give up on you because you're attached to me no matter what. But Ankle, I'm very disappointed in you. After all we've been though, gymnastics, jungle gyms, cheerleading, trampolines, walks, bikes and many hikes I'd think you'd recognize my need for you on a daily basis. I expected better from you. I'm not an 80 year old woman with bone loss issues. You should have healed better and in a more timely fashion. Your failure to comply with typical healing practices has cost me six weeks thus far and will probably cost me another six to eight. You've also cost me a vacation. If you were a normal employee you'd have been fired a long time ago.
You're time line for healing is not only inconsiderate to me, but to others in my life, not to mention other parts of my body that now hurt because of your failure to knit. You can't be selfish like this Ankle. You need to get it together too. I don't know if you and 2009 are in cahoots but if I find that you two plotted this I will seek retribution. This will server as your official warning. You are now on probation.
Sincerely,
Angry Ankle Owner
Dear NYC,
I am very sorry to be writ ting this letter NYC. I feel like we had a good thing planned. It was going to be a lovely one week get together. I dreamed about your entertainment options, your delectable restaurants and your beautiful city scapes. I even bought a book about you so I could know you better when we got there.
It's been 17 years since I last saw you NYC. I'm sure things have changed dramatically, not the least of which is The World Trade Center. I'm hoping we'll be able to make it there sometime later in the year because I do feel the need to visit the site once again.
NYC, I really am sorry. Please feel free to file grievances with 2009 and Ankle should you feel the need to. Ankle is currently under probation for it's behaviour and role in this entire debacle. You should know that Ankle will be out of commission for the next six to eight weeks after surgery to repair it so it will have plenty of time to reflect on it's misdeeds.
Save me a cupcake and big slice of Pizza! We're going to make it to you some how, some day!
Signed,
Wistfully Thinking of The Big Apple
2 comments:
I.hear.you.
sorry about NYC :(
i had no idea you were so clever and witty and cute and hilarious (or a blogger for that matter)....nyc will always be there....:) and so i will i, religiously checking your blog.
xoxo
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