You down with OPA?

That's Over Planners Anonymous... yeah you know me!

Hello, my name is Erin and I’m an obsessive planner. There I’ve said it. I know I need help. I know it’s over the top. I know that making six spreadsheets about the same thing will not make the outcome any different…

I spent all of Sunday afternoon researching a vacation that I probably shouldn’t take.

You see I like to have a vacation or something planned to look forward to. It really helps push me through the very gray days we see here in the NW. Spring can last until June here, and by Spring I mean, rain, drizzle, rain, more rain and dark clouds.

The vacation that we’d planned for NYC was the perfect escape. But of course it’s not going to happen. I’d thought of just planning another trip to NYC in the summer, but Scott’s new job won’t allow that. In fact the only time he can really take a vacation is the deep winter, when no one wants to buy or build decks and fences.

So I sat on the couch yesterday in my PJ’s and daydreamed about Hawaii and Mexcio. I even went so far as to look up condo rental prices and found some awesome deals for December. And of course the airfare is awesome because we have tickets already paid for, just waiting to be used.

All sounds perfect, except a) I feel bad if we don’t actually make it to NYC but NYC in cold, wet winter sounds like not so much fun to me and b) If IVF is successful I’d be a few months along in December. Traveling to Mexico while pregnant maybe not a good idea? But I did find that the resort town has a hospital emergency room staffed by English speaking doctors from Miami. But what a horrible place to be faced with complications. Who knows!

I’d already kind of decided to push the IVF back to July because I’m going to Illinois for a wedding in June. I didn’t think trying to travel to the Midwest in summer while also taking meds that can cause hot flashes was the best idea. Plus I think my family would appreciate it if my moods aren't swinging from Iowa to Indiana while there.

But then I feel pretty guilty for even thinking about vacation. Where are my priorities? Baby vs. Vacation. Who wins? Can I have both? Should I just chill out forget about it? I’m frustrated. My SIL went to Hawaii while five months pregnant with twins. She called it her babymoon. Last chance for tropical paradise before life changed forever. Plus she said being in the water was heaven.

I know the answer is to wait and see. See if you get pregnant. See what the doctor says. See how you feel. I hate waiting to see! I need some instant gratification! Maybe new shoes will help…oh wait, I can’t even wear normal shoes right now! Dagnabit! Give me some butter clumps stat!