I don't have a title for today...

First, thank you to my little cheerleaders! Tamara, Mary and Andy, I really appreciate the feedback and support. Last week when I hit my gym low you made me bounce right back up and hop on the elliptical machines again. Mucho, mucho thank you! Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually reads my words and hearing from you guys totally made my week!

Gym update: I'm still going 5-6 times a week. I finally lost a pound. It's only one, but it also means I'm only .5 pounds away from not being considered over weight on the BMI scale so I've got that to keep me pushing. I've actually been working extra hard lately. Having conversations with myself. In my head. Not out loud. That might have people looking at me like I was crazy. Of course that might mean they would pick a machine a little further from me which would be a-okey dokey by me! Something to ponder... Back to these conversations, I basically pep talk myself and convince myself that if I slack off, the only person being cheated in ME. Or I talk to myself about having fab (not flab) thighs for the beach in MEXICO. Last night when I got home from the gym I practiced my Biggest Loser Photo Op photo. You know where you pose like the finalist before the big reveal. Yeah, I made my arms look all buff and fun. Yes I am crazy. Yes I am willing to do what ever it takes to meet the goal at this point. I even did leg lifts while I cooked dinner last night. Got to get the extra burn in.

Life update: Things have been pretty darn good, I feel like all the gym time has given me better happy vibes and even more energy. So my house is clean, I feel like cooking and baking and crafting. I feel like doing. Doing anything and that makes the days that much better. I am starting to see that I might have been in some really bad (if not scary) funk after I broke my ankle. Things just feel SO much better. Scott is still working really long hours but he did have two days off this weekend so we got to spend some time together and that was really nice. Despite all this goodness I've still been feeling a little insecure over stupid stuff. I just need to "get over it" I suppose, but hormones and crap like that have a way of making you nutso. I'm bordering on a little paranoid nutso right now. I won't bore you with details. But dammit I hate feeling insecure. It's icky.

This weekend I'll celebrate my birthday with friends and family and I'm really, really looking forward to it. I'm in such a better place than I was last year. The only thing missing will be Stephanie. I was booked to go see her on Saturday and I won't. I thought maybe I'd take some flowers to her grave but then thought better of it. I will wait until her birthday week after next, so it's about her and I can avoid extra tears for my birthday.

Baby update : Zip, zero, zilch. No movement. But right now I'm okay with that. Tomorrow that might change :) Tomorrow I'm going to be older. ACK!