What the beep!

Today at work we somehow ended up on the topic of swearing. I am the first to admit that I might swear a little too much. I'm not constantly dropping the f-bomb or anything, but I might have been a sailor (or plumber) in a former life. We have one co-worker who almost never swears and then a few like me who occasionally let dirty word slip, and I'm not even sure how we progressed to this, but we started using the literal words in place of swear words. So someone would shout "Oh feces!" or "Fornication YEAH!" this was funny enough but it soon became a game to see how you could say it another way. So we had "When the fecal mater hits the fan, " and "Up Poop Creek without a paddle". All funny when in an office setting, but my favorite is the simple "Well feces," instead of swearing version for "how the fornication did this happen?" I think I might just use this while out and about someday, or maybe at a family function. I can't wait to see some reactions. As Chandler would ask "Could you BE any more childish?" Well you probably don't want to know the answer to that.

I am also on day three of no coffee. This is the worst thing ever. I know that giving up coffee and alcohol in preparation for things is good and necessary, but dang it if it isn't the most rotten way to start out. I already don't have a baby, now you want to take away caffeine and liquor? What do I have left? How will I remain perky? I know many of you think I'm just naturally chipper, but that's not really the case. I'm a fairly surly individual (did I mention the former life as a plumber?) who preforms well on warm cups of java, diet coke and hard cider. I am fearful that the real me will be revealed in the coming days and no one will like me anymore. I better get a baby out of all this. Seriously. No coffee = baby. Fair trade I think. Until a time when I am once again free to enjoy libations please understand that if I snap at you it's the caffeine withdrawal.